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Violence Against Women

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PROSAF — Surviving Sexual Abuse In The Caribbean By Souyenne Hackshaw

VIOLENCE against women is an epidemic plaguing the world. Women are raped, tortured, molested, sold, beaten, KILLED on an hourly basis and we all seem to turn a blind eye to the hurt and pain they are enduring. It seems that so many have come to condone and accept that women will be ill-treated and discarded at the discretion of the male gender. We hear the constant incidents of rape, assault, murder, threats, and we are still able to blame the survivor. What did you do to cause this? How did you lead him on? How many more victims do we have to add to the current statistics before we acknowledge the problem and take action to change?

Violence against women has been a problem for countless years. It appears that although times have changed, the way women are viewed and treated has not. Condoning the actions of a rapist, molester or batterer makes you in many ways a silent bystander, an accessory to a crime you witnessed happening, and chose to do nothing about. You were silent when you stood by preferring not to get involved, but also when you choose day after day to accept rape, molestation and domestic violence as acts the victims brought on themselves. Your callous remarks serve only to further excuse the individual committing the heinous acts. Looking the other way makes you as guilty as the one committing the crime. We have to let go of the common phrase that “it is not my business”. Your call for help may make the difference between saving a life or watching a life disappear. I’m not advocating that you jump in the middle of an incident but make a call to get help, reach out to the individual being abused. Our human right is to be safe and secure in our bodies, your human duty is to try to protect those around you from being used, ill-treated and abused. We expect that someone would aid us if we were being attacked so why are we not willing to do the same for others? Why is it so easy to blame the victim and assume the assault against her/him was her fault? Why are we not asking her abuser what made him believe it was ok to force himself on someone who said no, laid still, didn’t react, fought back, said no, please stop? When did it become ok to force and threaten someone into submission? Why is that never one of the first questions asked of the one committing the assault? Why is his character not attacked? It is baffling that after a sexual assault, a survivor comes forth, and they would be blamed for causing this heinous act against themselves. NO-ONE ASKED TO BE VIOLATED.

We, at PROSAF, are acknowledging that may survivors feel a great sense of ambiguity about the their sexual assault; many are unsure what happened, how it happened so quickly, whether they brought it on themselves, and whether they could have done more to prevent it from happening. Violence against women is never ok; it is huge problem within St. Lucia and the wider Caribbean. We are here to educate and validate your feelings about your assault. Trust yourself and your feelings. We are always here to listen and if you are not ready to come forward but need a listening ear feel free to contact us. Sexual assault is something that happened to you, it, does not define you.

Survivors of sexual assault need a supportive environment to begin the healing process. They need to believe and feel that they are part of a culture that doesn’t support individuals who commit sexual crimes. We have to be the difference we want to see in our country. We have to be willing to start to make change. We, at PROSAF, have acknowledged that violence against women is a problem in St. Lucia and the wider Caribbean. We are here to begin the metamorphosis that is desperately needed. We are always here to listen and if you are not ready to come forward but need a listening ear, feel free to contact us. Remember that Sexual assault is something that happens to people, it does not define them, and it is something that was done to them. Survivors, Victims, Thrivers remember you are a strong, beautiful, intelligent woman/child/man who has suffered a trauma through no fault of your own. You are not guilty of any crime, something was done to you against your will Sexual Assault is something that happened to you, it does not define you. You are worthy of love and happiness. Always remember that you are not alone, that you have nothing to be ashamed of. We are taking the baby steps necessary to make it better for all. KNOW YOU HAVE A SAFE SPACE IN PROSAF. If you are interested in finding out more information about sexual violence and what you can do as part of this community, please feel free to contact us at:

Yours Sincerely,
Souyenne Dathorne, Velika Lawrence
Email: [email protected][email protected]
Facebook: SURVIVING SEXUAL ABUSE IN THE CARIBBEAN: https://www.facebook.com/pages/PROSAF-Surviving-Sexual-Abuse-in-the-Caribbean/165341356853908

Webpage: http://www.prosaf.org (under construction)
Telephone: 1-758-724-9991 (sue) 1-758-723-6466 (vel)

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