28th
August 2010
Kids
Again!
By
now, you all are aware that one of the
pillars on which the acceptance (and popularity)
of this column is built, is that of avoiding
dealing with (among other things like
politics and race etc.) religion. Yep,
if there’s one thing that most people
are touchy about, it’s individuals
trying to argue, talk them out of or in
any way go against their beliefs, their
affiliation to their chosen denomination,
etc.
So whenever I get something of a religious
nature that could be in any way contentious,
you can bet your pants that you won’t
find me writing about it or passing it
along to you in this forum. As we are
getting accustomed to saying in St. Lucia,
“That’s for another show.”
But here we are: I get something sent
to me that involves the innocence of kids
that’s funny … and as far
as I can see, can possibly offend no one,
but has a small religious flavour.
What to do? Smother it and hide it in
the closet because I don’t know
how you will react, or have the confidence
in you guys that you will only see just
the humour in it and let it brighten your
day, because you took it in the way it
was intended: as just clean fun.
So here you are. It was sent to me some
time ago, and for the life of me, I just
can’t remember from whom. But he/she
knows who he/she is, so on your behalf,
I extend thanks to him/her. It is entitled:
The Very NEW Testament
Can you imagine a nun sitting at her desk
grading these papers, all the while trying
to keep a straight face!
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND
SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A
LITTLE, YOU’LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS!
IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
TEST.
KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD
AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS
ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN.
THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED..
INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS.
GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO
HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE
TREE. NOAH’S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK.
NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME
ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING
THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE
NIGHT..
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT
HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC
GENITALS..
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