21st January 2010
Peeing in public

I don’t often disagree with my friend Debbie. We argue, but not all the time. We had a discreet disagreement the other day over something not many people talk about. Simply put, it’s about peeing in public. She felt it was nasty, unclean, ill-mannered and downright disrespectful for men to stand up and pee anywhere – especially in the eyes of women. She asked why men couldn’t just do like women and wait to get to the next available toilet to decently get rid of their liquid waste. That made her wonder, more often than not, whether it would not be unclean, if not unhealthy, to trust having to shake men’s hands -- because, you never know where they’ve been. Which is why, she hoped, more regular use would be made of hand sanitizers – especially by men.
I knew where she was coming from. But she either didn’t know where men who pee in public are coming from, or she didn’t care. But her quiet condemnation of the practice made me think about the history of peeing in public and the reasons why it continues to this day.
There must be a history to this thing. Obviously, men didn’t start peeing in public in St. Lucia. Legend has it that the practice was so rampant in England at one time that in an effort to address the complaints of women of the gentry, the state decided to outlaw peeing in public. But when that did not work, they simply amended the rule to say that it was an offence against the Queen to shake it after peeing in public. In other words, pee but don’t shake.
Never mind what Debra says or how she feels, peeing in public will continue regardless of what any law says. It will be outlawed – as it has been by the City Council (perhaps to increase revenues at the few paid public toilets it has built around the City), but it will still happen. It is not something I think anyone really wants to do – man or woman. But there are human bodily functions caused by the way the body works – and, in this case, the resulting pressure on our bladders is not something everyone can control.
Women have over the years developed a remarkable ability to hold back a pee until they get to the next convenient toilet – or until they get home. They will hold that thing and walk miles holding on to it. I have a Guyanese friend whose mother taught her as a child that it was “risky business to stoop down and pee in any bush” because a snake could come from anywhere and bite her. She’s approaching 60 and has never done it. But there are women who do. And there are those who will. Not all, but some.
Men too. But a man’s a different, different story. Like most women, there are some men who won’t pee in public.

But there are many who do -- and who will do it if needs be. And there are those who care and those who don’t. For one, he who does it does not see anything offensive in ridding oneself of bodily waste that’s been pressuring you to get out. That he stands gives him distance from the targeted area. And that he holds it allows him to aim discreetly – like into a drain. Unlike that other species that prefers to do it on our vehicle tires and electricity poles, men can be selective. Except in the case of guys (and gals) gathered around alcohol -- which is why the law insists that drinking and eating outlets have toilets.