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.... Of Cabbages & Kings

08th May 2010
Setting the Bar Way Up There

I’m cheating a little here, in more ways than one. Firstly, this is not a humorous article. It may be light and entertaining, but not intrinsically humorous … so there may be some of you who will be disappointed. Then of course, it’s something that was sent to me by a BTM (Backup Team Member), Terrence Scott and I’m not even sure that its kosher for me to reproduce it.
But the above being said, this is such a remarkable, touching, extraordinary story, that I just couldn’t let it pass without sharing it with you.
So, here it is:
Meet Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina . They have been married 85 years (86 in May) and hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage of a living couple and get this.. Zelmyra is 101 years old and Herbert is 104.
The happily married couple teamed up with twitter this Valentine’s Day to answer some relationship questions. Check out their take on finding love, getting through hard times and more.
1. What made you realize that you could spend the rest of your lives together? Were you scared at all?
H & Z: With each day that passed, our relationship was more solid and secure.Divorce was NEVER an option - or even a thought.
2. How did you know your spouse was the right one for you?
We grew up together & were best friends before we married. A friend is for life - our marriage has lasted a lifetime
3. Is there anything you would do differently after more than 80 years of marriage?
We wouldn’t change a thing. There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other & our family.
4. What is your advice to someone who is trying to keep the faith that Mr. Right is really out there?
Zelmyra: Mine was just around the corner! He is never too far away, so keep the faith - when you meet him, you’ll know.
5. What was the best piece of marriage advice you ever received?
Respect, support & communicate with each other.Be faithful, honest & true.Love each other with ALL of your heart
6. What are the most important attributes of a good spouse?
Zelmyra: A hard worker & good provider.The 1920s were hard,but Herbert wanted & provided the best for us.I married a good man!
7. What is your best Valentine’s Day memory?
 
 
Zelmyra: I cook dinner EVERY day.Herbert left work early & surprised me - he cooked dinner for me! He is a VERY good cook!
Herbert: I said that I was going to cook dinner for her & she could relax - the look on her face & clean plate made my day!
8. You got married very young - how did u both manage to grow as individuals yet not grow apart as a couple?
“Everyone who plants a seed & harvests the crop celebrates together” We are individuals, but accomplish more together.
9. What is your fondest memory of your 85-year marriage?
Our legacy: 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 9 great-grandchildren, and 1 great-great grandchild.
10. Does communicating get easier with time? How do you keep your patience?
The children are grown, so we talk more now. We can enjoy our time on the porch or our rocking chairs - together.
11. How did you cope when you had to be physically separated for long periods of time?
Herbert: We were apart for 2 months when Z was hospitalized with our 5th child. It was the most difficult time of my life. Zelmyra’s mother helped me with the house and the other children, otherwise I would have lost my mind.
12. At the end of bad relationship day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?
Remember marriage is not a contest - never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win
13. Is fighting important?
NEVER physically! Agree that it’s okay to disagree, & fight for what really matters. Learn to bend - not break!
14. What’s the one thing you have in common that transcends everything else?
We are both Christians & believe in God.Marriage is a commitment to the Lord.We pray with & for each other every day.
They also closed out the Q&A with one last message: We wish we could answer more questions! Thanks for your support and interest in our story - we are overwhelmed. And we wish you a happy Valentine’s Day - may it be filled with love and joy. God bless you all, Herbert and Zelmyra

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