09th January 2010
Word twists

I got the following from a guy who knows me better than most. We went to – and through – both primary and secondary school together, have kept in touch over the years whenever we could … and believe me, that’s a lot of years.
Hogarth Hippolyte, his name is; Gros Kent, we called him at school. So here we go: Hogarth Gros Kent Hippolyte, my friend, my brother, with this laudable contribution to the library and archives of the Cabbages and Kings organization, you hereby find yourself inducted into the Cabbages and Kings Backup Team and pronounced a full-fledged, financial member (not yet, not yet, the rest of you. Stop the clapping and cheering. The audience can’t hear me over the din you’re creating. Let me finish first, please … please … PLEASE!! Oh well, I may as well give up and let you nuts have your way; so …) Welcome, my boy! May you have long life and submit thousands of contributions to the Cause. Break out the champagne!
As for the rest of you, sit back and enjoy Hogarth’s first Cabbages and Kings contribution:

SAY WHAT?
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A man’s home is his castle, in a Manor of speaking.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practise safe eating - always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)