Smile? Not a Chance

Last Thursday, I woke up in what I can only describe as a “bubbly” mood. I had slept little the night before ... and for some inexplicable reason, the lack of sleep always has me in a sort of “hyper” frame of mind. It’s the funniest thing: the less I sleep, the more buoyant and energetic I feel the following day. I walk on air; I sing like a lark in the shower; I make myself huge, scrumptious breakfasts, which I devour like a starving hyena (my father used to say, “it’s one or the other: sleep or eat; if you don’t do one, your body’s going to demand the other”); and I spring to whatever task is at hand like a gambolling lamb in Springtime.
So, like a clean, well-fed lamb walking on air, I set off to gambol to work. To add to my already-perky mood, the sun was shining (well, it’s still the dry season, so that comes as no surprise to you); the birds were all out and singing - I wondered whether they too, had had a sleepless night ... how else could they be as much up and about, and so full of the enjoyment of life, as yours truly?
To top everything off, as I walked through William Peter Boulevard, I kept bumping into all my favourite people, one after the other. Then again, they may not, ordinarily, have been my favourite people; but today, there was no doubt about it: they all were witty, pretty (and handsome) and gay (not that kind of gay, silly: happy, what it used to mean before they changed the meaning). Or perhaps, because of my frame of mind, they were all just seeming to be that way.
Anyhow, a feeling of the consciousness of “God’s in His heaven and all’s right with the world” hit me like a wave ... and I smiled to myself as I walked, just out of the sheer joy of being alive.
At this point, I’d like you to bear with me, just a little bit, while I discuss something with you. We’ll catch up with me on my way to work, a few paragraphs from now ...
Time was, when the world had an attitude, which we seem to have lost; or which may have just undergone slight changes and modifications ... and I’m not sure I’m happy about the loss, changes or modifications. It (the attitude) was reflected in a significant number of the popular songs which were sung back then (here, I know that the bulk of you younger readers are not going to recognize the titles or lines which I am about to quote, but hey, bear with me and just accept that these songs, as corny as they may sound to you, were actually hit tunes of their day, enjoyed by the - then - youth. And anyway, just wait until your kids hear the names of the stuff sung today by Shaggy and Eminem. They’ll think you were crazy too).

Songs like, “Smile (though your heart is aching; smile, even though it’s breaking ...”; and, “Whistle While you Work”; or “Pennies From Heaven”, where the words exhort you, just in case it begins to rain pennies from heaven, to always “make sure that your (open) umbrella is upside down”; and finally, “Climb Every Mountain (ford every stream; follow every rainbow, till you find your dream)”; etc., etc., etc. (Phew! I’m glad I finally got through that pile. Even I was beginning to feel that they may have been a bit corny).
Great, uplifting stuff, huh? You bet; but ... just imagine, in the world of today, a fellow trying to follow the advice advocated in any of those songs. Like just walking along the sidewalk, and for no apparent reason at all, smiling at everyone who passes ... or even worse, smiling vacuously at nothing at all! Like me, last Thursday morning (see, I told you we’d catch up with me eventually, on my way to work, with a silly smile on my face, a few paragraphs down).
Or just try the “whistle while you work” thing in supposed-to-be-quiet office, and refuse to stop, no matter how many people are just begging you to put a sock in it. And whistling in a horrid off-key, at that.
But even those things pale in comparison to walking around town, sun or rain, with an open, upside-down umbrella, constantly looking up into the sky and trying to explain to the myriads of people you bump into and almost kill, that you’re waiting for the next shower of pennies to fall. I’ll tell you what will fall ... on you - on your neck: a bunch of white-coated attendants carrying a straight-jacket, to cart you off to where all your worries are at an end, and the main meal on the menu is dry coconut, served in whatever style you prefer it.
As for climbing every mountain, fording every stream and following rainbows, well .. the name ain’t been devised yet for the kind of lunacy we’re talking about, here. Following rainbows indeed! Next thing, you’ll be seeing leprechauns with pots of gold, at their ends.
Yep, times have changed; and if ever there was a time you could do any of those kinds of things on the street, well ... today, brother, don’t even think of going there.
So .. back to me, on my walk to the office: all of the above thoughts, song titles and all, flashed through my head, as soon as I saw the way everybody kept looking at me - as I strode, like a Smiling Sam, along the sidewalk. You know ... cynical, wary-eyed, shaking their heads and describing little circles in the air near their temples with their forefingers ... Well, kid, I’m not an afficionado of dry coconut, and I had no desire to begin to learn to appreciate the taste, no matter how it’s served. So, I did what everyone else seemed to be doing: I put a frown on my face, scowled aggressively at everyone whom I met --- and made it safely to the office, without being chased by any straight-jacket-bearing attendants.
“Hi, Mr. Marquis,” the pretty young receptionist greeted me as I stepped through the door, “what’s the matter? You’re in a bad mood today?”